I can't believe my last post was August 18th. I can't say I've been too busy to write because that would be a lie. I've been in a constant state of writers block for four months. I'm going home for winter break in 2 days. Goodbye Boston, hello sunny CALIFORNIA. I can't wait to see my family and friends but to say I'm one-hundred percent ready to go home would be a lie. I'm dreading December 16th. I wish that time would just stop. Right now. I wish that 12-am didn't mean the new day began. It makes me want to stay up every night and not sleep a wink if it means I get that extra 6-8 hours here. I honestly don't think I've ever wanted to not go home before. I can't even let myself think about it because the thought of being gone for a whole month blows my mind. It's inconceivable. I don't think it will actually hit me until I'm home in my own bed, alone. It's not that I think things are going to change and never be the same, but I feel like I'm going to miss out on so much of life here. I don't want to miss ANYTHING and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. The fact that I won't physically be here freaks me out. I know things will be better than ever when I get back, but that's hard to put in my head right now when all I want to do is cry at the thought of being gone for 32 days. I guess I always get this way when I am traveling back and fourth but usually it's the same thing, 'I don't want to leave CALIFORNIA' or 'I can't wait to leave boston'... I'm on the other side of that this time and it's messing with my head. All I know is I'm not going to mess this one up. Let's just say I can't wait for January 18th, 7:30am :)
