thoughts from my ipod-December

Today just like 5 months ago I am on a plane to boaton starting my journey all over again. It's pretty fucking crazy when I think about how much has changed in the past 5 months. It's hard to believe I'm single and semi ok with it. I don't really know where to begin or where to end because even I don't know what I'm thinking most of the time and I hate that. I miss being completly sure of my feelings for another person. It's the worst feeling in the world being completely head over heels in love and having all of that gone in a day. If live learned anything in the past 5 months its people are fucking crazy and you never know what they are going to say or do. Honestly, you can only really trust yourself and if your lucky, your family. I mean I am a very trustworthy person I've never really had trust issues but these days words have no meaning. They are just words. Maybe I have a wall up and I'm just waiting to feel something real again and the only way to
break down my wall is to find someone worth being vulnerable with. I haven't been this lost in a long time, in a way it's kind of refreshing. I used to think my life plan was already sketched out for me. And maybe it's my fault for following it. I forget I am so young and I have my whole life ahead of me. I guess I'm just not very good at being single. I care about people way too much to share. That's just part of who I am I guess, but maybe that is a good thing. I am in no rush for a relationship or anything serious I guess I just want a best friend. Someone to care about and cuddle with. Or maybe I have no idea what I want or even if what I want and need are the same thing. All I know is I am starting a new semester in a semi-new place and I'm ready. Bring it on. People come in and out of your life with every new experience, the trick is finding someone who will be there through it all. All I can say is... Plan to be surprised