-I saved up all my sunshine just to see you more clear
-Home is anywhere you are too
-Plan to be surprised<3
-You drive me to distraction
-We climb on 2x2 to make sure these days continue, things we can not change
-If i lay here...Would you lay with me and just forget the world
-I need your grace to remind me to find my own
-Forget what we're told, before we get too old
-holding on things that vanished left me in pieces but now im rising from the ashes, all that I needed was there all along, within my reach, as close as the beat of my heart
-I'm ready to run keeping my feet on the ground, arms open wide, face to the sun
-"I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love it's time that I realize
-what it takes to be number one vince
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
thoughts from my ipod-May
I'm leaving Boston tomorrow night and it's bittersweet. I have grown to love this place. I really dont want to leave. I wish the people I'm excited to see at home could just come here with me. I wish my friends and fam lived out here. But I guess that would defeat the purpose of coming out here in the first place then huh? :] I just really love experiencing 4 seasons. Seeing the leaves changing to falling off the tree to the blankets of snow covering the ground for most of the year to cherryblossoms blooming. It's just a really beautiful place. Honestly I feel as the seasons changed so did I. I am in a completely different place than I was when the leaves were reds, oranges and yellows. I love it. I finally feel ready to begin life again. I guess I'm just like the flowers blooming. It's a nice feeling. I'm finally getting to the other side of where my life used to be. And that is great. I just want to be back to where I was before and I'm getting there.
I played sports again this year for the first time in over 12 months!! What an awesome feeling!! And the best part of the year was playing softball again and being Rookie of the Year for the TCCC. :] I am so proud of myself. All of the pain and 2 surgeries and tears and missing my senior year in both sports it was all worth it. It's a starting point. And I'm ready to work hard this summer and come back next year stronger, faster, and better. I just hope my ankle hangs in there. It is definitely not 100%, and I can't wait until it is. :]
I played sports again this year for the first time in over 12 months!! What an awesome feeling!! And the best part of the year was playing softball again and being Rookie of the Year for the TCCC. :] I am so proud of myself. All of the pain and 2 surgeries and tears and missing my senior year in both sports it was all worth it. It's a starting point. And I'm ready to work hard this summer and come back next year stronger, faster, and better. I just hope my ankle hangs in there. It is definitely not 100%, and I can't wait until it is. :]
thoughts from my ipod-March
"Say what you need to say." It seems like I always do my best work on
air planes. Who knows, maybe it's the feeling of independence or the
deep thoughts that come with music. Music that is filled with deep
lyrics which spark emotion in every way imaginable. Whatever it is, it
always happens to me... As I'm sitting on this plane to Myrtle Beach
I've been thinking a lot about change. In the past year and a half
the only constant theme in my life has been change. I used to be
afraid of change. I hated it and I never wanted to face it. It's
ironic because these days all I can relate to is change. I change the
things I can control to benefit my life. But what about the things I
can't control? Do those benifit me aswell? A year and a half ago I
would have said no they only caused me pain and brought my life more
inconvenience. I have a hard time with things beyond my control. But
as I grow and mature I see more and more that change is a great thing.
These experiences are opening my eyes to things I need to work on to
become a better person. I am accepting the things I need to work on
and embracing them instead of being too proud to change. I feel, if I
never changed my enviornment and moved across the country I would not
be the person I am today. I took a risk and just went with it. I
barely thought twice. And with that my entire life changed. I am much
more independent and I feel that I am growing and learning more than I
ever would have on the west coast. It's not so much the location but
more the action ofmoving. I am seeing life in a whole new light... And
it's a great feeling. I am becoming who I want to be more and more
everyday. I am not afraid to be who I am and I am open to every new
experience that comes my way. I am forces to make decisions I never
have before. I've learned to let go of things that were holding me
back. There is no more comfort blanket. It's just pure life. The heart
aches and the smiles, I feel it all and I love it. When I moved out
here I had an idea of what the next 4 years were going to be like... I
had it all mapped out. The amazing part is my life is not even close
to the map I had sketches out. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I
can't imagine my life any differently.
"PLAN TO BE SURPRISED" <3
"Life gets that much harder it makes you that much stronger. Some
pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned."
"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we react
to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we
bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive
thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst... A spark that
creates extraordinary results."
air planes. Who knows, maybe it's the feeling of independence or the
deep thoughts that come with music. Music that is filled with deep
lyrics which spark emotion in every way imaginable. Whatever it is, it
always happens to me... As I'm sitting on this plane to Myrtle Beach
I've been thinking a lot about change. In the past year and a half
the only constant theme in my life has been change. I used to be
afraid of change. I hated it and I never wanted to face it. It's
ironic because these days all I can relate to is change. I change the
things I can control to benefit my life. But what about the things I
can't control? Do those benifit me aswell? A year and a half ago I
would have said no they only caused me pain and brought my life more
inconvenience. I have a hard time with things beyond my control. But
as I grow and mature I see more and more that change is a great thing.
These experiences are opening my eyes to things I need to work on to
become a better person. I am accepting the things I need to work on
and embracing them instead of being too proud to change. I feel, if I
never changed my enviornment and moved across the country I would not
be the person I am today. I took a risk and just went with it. I
barely thought twice. And with that my entire life changed. I am much
more independent and I feel that I am growing and learning more than I
ever would have on the west coast. It's not so much the location but
more the action ofmoving. I am seeing life in a whole new light... And
it's a great feeling. I am becoming who I want to be more and more
everyday. I am not afraid to be who I am and I am open to every new
experience that comes my way. I am forces to make decisions I never
have before. I've learned to let go of things that were holding me
back. There is no more comfort blanket. It's just pure life. The heart
aches and the smiles, I feel it all and I love it. When I moved out
here I had an idea of what the next 4 years were going to be like... I
had it all mapped out. The amazing part is my life is not even close
to the map I had sketches out. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I
can't imagine my life any differently.
"PLAN TO BE SURPRISED" <3
"Life gets that much harder it makes you that much stronger. Some
pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned."
"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we react
to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we
bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive
thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst... A spark that
creates extraordinary results."
thoughts from my ipod-December
Today just like 5 months ago I am on a plane to boaton starting my journey all over again. It's pretty fucking crazy when I think about how much has changed in the past 5 months. It's hard to believe I'm single and semi ok with it. I don't really know where to begin or where to end because even I don't know what I'm thinking most of the time and I hate that. I miss being completly sure of my feelings for another person. It's the worst feeling in the world being completely head over heels in love and having all of that gone in a day. If live learned anything in the past 5 months its people are fucking crazy and you never know what they are going to say or do. Honestly, you can only really trust yourself and if your lucky, your family. I mean I am a very trustworthy person I've never really had trust issues but these days words have no meaning. They are just words. Maybe I have a wall up and I'm just waiting to feel something real again and the only way to
break down my wall is to find someone worth being vulnerable with. I haven't been this lost in a long time, in a way it's kind of refreshing. I used to think my life plan was already sketched out for me. And maybe it's my fault for following it. I forget I am so young and I have my whole life ahead of me. I guess I'm just not very good at being single. I care about people way too much to share. That's just part of who I am I guess, but maybe that is a good thing. I am in no rush for a relationship or anything serious I guess I just want a best friend. Someone to care about and cuddle with. Or maybe I have no idea what I want or even if what I want and need are the same thing. All I know is I am starting a new semester in a semi-new place and I'm ready. Bring it on. People come in and out of your life with every new experience, the trick is finding someone who will be there through it all. All I can say is... Plan to be surprised
break down my wall is to find someone worth being vulnerable with. I haven't been this lost in a long time, in a way it's kind of refreshing. I used to think my life plan was already sketched out for me. And maybe it's my fault for following it. I forget I am so young and I have my whole life ahead of me. I guess I'm just not very good at being single. I care about people way too much to share. That's just part of who I am I guess, but maybe that is a good thing. I am in no rush for a relationship or anything serious I guess I just want a best friend. Someone to care about and cuddle with. Or maybe I have no idea what I want or even if what I want and need are the same thing. All I know is I am starting a new semester in a semi-new place and I'm ready. Bring it on. People come in and out of your life with every new experience, the trick is finding someone who will be there through it all. All I can say is... Plan to be surprised
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